Six Things I Wish People Knew Before Starting Therapy
There's a lot of mythology and insecurity around therapy. What it feels like, who it's for, am I crazy enough?, how long it takes, and what happens behind the door.
Unfortunately, some of it puts people off before they even start. Some of it keeps people in therapy far longer than they need to be.
Here are six things I genuinely wish more people knew.
1. Therapy shouldn't exhaust you
I've heard people describe leaving therapy sessions feeling drained, heavy, or unable to function for the rest of the day. I understand that processing difficult things can be tiring — but a session that consistently leaves you worse than when you arrived is worth questioning.
My rule — and it's a firm one — is that every session should leave you feeling better, not worse. Not necessarily lighter in a superficial way, but clearer. More resourced. With something useful in your hands. One step further forward…at least one step.
Therapy isn't about suffering through it. It's about winning — small wins, session by session. If that's not happening, something needs to change.
2. You don't need to arrive with the answers
Many people hesitate to start therapy because they're not sure what they want to work on, or they can't quite articulate what's wrong. They worry they'll sit down and not know what to say.
This is completely normal — and honestly, that’s why we are there.
A good first session helps you see things more clearly. You arrive confused; you leave with a clearer picture of what's actually going on. That clarity itself is often the first shift.
You don't need to have it figured out before you come. That's what the first session is for. You do it together- in collaboration with the therapist.
3. Therapy can be short
The image of therapy as something you do for years — lying on a couch, revisiting childhood every week — is outdated for most of what people actually need support with.
CBT and hypnotherapy are structured, goal-focused approaches. Many clients notice a meaningful shift in perspective and attitude in as few as a few sessions. Some achieve what they came for in 4 sessions (depending on your topic).
Of course, some work takes longer — and that's fine too. But therapy doesn't have to be a long-term commitment before you've even started.
In between the sessions, make sure you have the feeling that you are moving forward.
4. Whatever you share stays in the room
I was recently asked whether I could work with a well-known athlete who needed support but whose situation required complete discretion. My answer was simple: of course, everyone requires discretion.
Confidentiality isn't something I offer as a courtesy — it's the law. It applies equally to everyone who works with me, whether you're a public figure or not. Nobody will ever know what happens in our sessions.
The only exception is if there is a serious and immediate risk to your safety or someone else's — and even then, I would always speak with you first. This is standard ethical practice across the profession, and it's something I take very seriously.
Your story is yours. It stays that way.
5. I won't ask you to commit before we've met
One of the things I feel strongly about is that the relationship between therapist and client is one of the most important factors in whether therapy works. Research consistently backs this up — it's called the therapeutic alliance, and it matters enormously.
Which means: if you meet me and don't feel comfortable, or don't feel like we're the right fit, that's completely valid. I won't take it personally. In fact, I'd rather you tell me than push through something that isn't working.
The discovery call exists for exactly this reason — a chance to talk, to get a feel for each other, and to decide together whether working together makes sense. No obligation. No pressure.
After the first assessment session, you'll know.
6. You don't need to be in crisis
Therapy isn't only for people who are struggling seriously. You don't need to hit rock bottom, have a diagnosis, or be unable to function before you're allowed to ask for support.
Maybe you just feel stuck. Or you'd like to understand yourself better. Or there's a habit you've been meaning to change for years. Or you're going through a transition and want to navigate it well.
These are all good enough reasons. There's no threshold you have to cross first.
If something is bothering you enough to make you curious about therapy — that curiosity is reason enough to get in touch.
A free 20-minute discovery call is always the first step — a chance to talk and to find out if working together feels right.
